Losing Yourself to yourself...

I’m sure that at some time in everyone’s life they have been extremely sad, angry, or just plain upset at some point in their life. But sometimes it can be very overwhelming. Everything that you do in life brings along some type of emotion. When that emotion is depression then something needs to be done about it.

I’ve always believed that the holiday season should bring happiness and joy, but this year that just doesn’t seem to be the case. When I went home for Thanksgiving, things just weren’t the same… the things that should have brought happiness brought tears, the new memories that are usually happy were sad, and, to top it all off, the thought of going on another day just seemed down right painful, literally. Depression can and does affect every aspect of your life. When you suffer from this emotional disability it also takes its toll on everyone around you. This semester has been an emotional struggle for me, ranging from separation anxiety to losing the most important man in my life (my grandfather) I have felt as though it was important for me to put up a façade and pretend as though all was well when it really wasn’t. I made it seem as though I was mentally capable of taking care of others when I couldn’t even handle my own. I needed help and didn’t realize it. That is, until my best friend told me that he noticed a change that no one else had noticed… I had lost my drive… I didn’t care about school, family, finances, anything. I barely even cared about life. He told me that I had lost my glow, my “crazy” antics, my smile was fading, and I didn’t express myself anymore. He said “you just aren’t yourself anymore and I miss you” From that point on I knew that I needed help. Depression can cause a lot of problems, but once you realize it is a problem, it’s up to you to get the help you need. Just realize that you can’t do it alone. And in the words of one of my very wise friends, “As long as you have at least one person who loves you and/or adores you more than you can possibly imagine, you are not alone.” It took a while for me to see it but now that I do I now feel like I have a reason to go on. I love you guys and I promise that as long as I have you behind me I won’t give up. Just stay by my side, because I don’t want to slip away again.

“It’s better to have one good friend, than many “friends” who could care less. Look for quality baby… “~ GG Bessant (RIP)

My Personal Opinion on Volunteering

So, on Saturday I finished 80 hrs of community service for my SCWK 202 class (making my total from the beginning of my college career a whopping 130 documented* hrs) and I felt oh, so accomplished… that is, until I realized that my work wasn’t done. It would be completely wrong of me to stop volunteering at the height of the holiday season, especially since there are only two volunteers. I couldn’t do that. I know that some may not agree with me on this one, but I really believe that volunteering is very important. Not just for a class, but for individual development also. It provides one with a sense of self-worth and accomplishment simply because you get the chance to help others who are, in most cases, less fortunate than yourself. It’s a wonderful feeling that you get when someone walks up to you and says “you have just made my day”, or asks if they could hug you with tears of joy in their eyes, simply because you handed them a bag with enough food to last them for a few weeks or clothes that could keep them warm through the winter months.

Over the course of this semester, I spent the majority of my day, on Mondays and Fridays, at Pilgrims Inn. PI provides emergency assistance to men, women and children (in the form of donations, daycare, and a sense of security) all over the Rock Hill area and also provides shelter to families with no place to go. It strives off of the donations of others and if they are unable to accept donations then they pass them on to other organizations around the area that can. I am very glad that I decided to volunteer there. It’s taught me a lot. One major lesson I learned is that a career, no matter what path you choose, isn’t always going to be predictable. As a social worker I know that it’s not going to always be passing out donations and filing papers. This semester alone there has been a client that has gone in labor, a semi-truck full of food, and remodeling of parts of the building. The unexpected happened and about halfway into my volunteering I realized that I had to stop coming in and expecting to do the same things every time. I had to come in and be willing to face what ever was placed in front of me.

Life isn’t always sunshine and four leaf clovers people, if you haven’t volunteered before you should, you’ll gain a greater appreciation for what you have and you’ll learn that, sometimes, hard times are only lessened by hope.

Au revoir for now…

Individuality vs. Society

A few days ago, I was reminded of a conversation that took place between me and two of my friends. The conversation was on how a person becomes an individual and how they are able to stand out in a society where no one can actually call themselves individuals because of their similar thoughts and action. Now many could (and have) argued with me on this one simply because genetically everyone is different, but if you were to really sit down and think about it society is what makes an individual and no one is completely different in thought from everyone in society because we are taught what to and not to accept. Our social norms and beliefs are what tie us together.

So, what do you think? Are we really individuals, or are we the product of a society that wants us to believe that we are different? You decide.

I helped to make History!! We Did it America!!!

*Disclaimer: Those who may not follow my political or religious views should understand that I am not trying to force you to think the way I do. We are all beautifully human, and I am just using this blog to express my PERSONAL views. Please do not take offense to the content of this blog entry. I am only expressing my opinion.*

THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA HAS ACCEPTED AND AGREED WITH IT'S VOICE OF REASON. ALL WE WANTED WAS A CHANCE. THANK YOU FOR GIVING IT TO US!

If you all haven't realized it yet, I am an African American who voted for President (it feels good to say this) Obama. Not because of the color of his skin, but because of the topics that he focused upon and last night at 11:06 pm I realized that this was realy happening. A nation of people that, at one point in time, didn't believe that blacks had the mental capability to take care of themselves in their own land, allowed us to prove that not only could we take care of ourselves, but if given the chance, we could take care of others too!

We as a nation elected our first African American president. This is still a little surreal to me, but I have been in a state of euphoria since he won the whole New England region. Last night I cried tears of joy because, for once, I actually believed that my children would have an even better chance at life than I did. I cried because my grandmother cried and said that she never thought she'd see this in her lifetime; because my mother, who was born in the midst of the Civil Rights Movement, finally believed that what others fought for was worth it; I cried because the man I love had a look of peace and determination in his eyes that I had never seen before and because I knew that the man I miss was in heaven praising God for sending the blessing that would cover all the generations he left behind.

As we, the Obama supporters (of all ethnicities) of Winthrop University, marched from our dorms to the major meeting places on campus all you could hear was Obama chants, people crying, and some even singing "We Shall Overcome". And as I followed the crowd, thanking God the whole way, I realized that Barack Obama is my generations form of MLK, Jr. and JFK combined. He had accomplished what so many others fought and died for, UNITY.

Now, although there are still some who still aren't as open minded as we'd like, and can't see past the color of his skin, we are all still "One nation, under God" we can make a difference as long as we keep the faith, continue to reach for our hopes and dreams and know that change isn't always a negative thing.

America, let's put the past behind us and know that brighter days are coming. Change is here, are you going to accept it? I sure have...

What Will America Do?

So, right after the first Democratic debate between Clinton and Obama, I decided to "Barack the Vote" on this coming Election Day.

(side note: Woo!!!Obama '08!!!!!)

But lately I've been wondering what is going to happen after all the ballots are in. America seems to be in such a divided state right now that I'm worried about my future. Racism is coming back to the forefront of our nation and although many people believe that prejudice and racism are a thing of the past, both are still a debilitating factor in the American mindset (how can we stand strong in other nations when we can't even tolerate each other at home?). Being an African American myself and coming from a town where Blacks weren't considered worthy of the ground they walked on, by some, I can honestly say that I know what it's like to be discriminated against (and many of my family members would know better than I would). It's a very discouraging feeling, so knowing that there is a tad bit of hope for our future; a slight chance that we can move up a just a little bit is the greatest feeling in the world to me.

Now I'm sure you may be asking; what does this have to do with Social Work? Well, I think it has everything to do with Social Work, our main goal is to contribute to the social welfare of others, and civil rights contribute to social welfare. There is no way that people can live happily when they feel as if they are treated unfairly and not given the opportunities that other "superior" races are given. I will be honest with you, a major concern is the safety of those who are supporting our "1st Black President".

I really believe that there can be some serious problems if he wins. (race riots, attempts to assassinate, etc.) And the horrible sense of defeat that we would feel if he didn't win can't go without mention. I think that this election can really be compared to the Joe Louis and Max Schmelling fights of 1935 and 1938 (Black America vs. the Oppressors, if I must say so myself). The only difference is that if he loses this time, we may not get a rematch and it won't be easy to get us to believe that we do have a fighting chance in this world, even more so, in this country.

Don't get me wrong, I also believe that this will do wonders for the morale of the African American community. I have noticed that we have been united ever since we realized that we could possibly have our first leader who showed that all African Americans aren't the way that people try to portray us. Not all of us, fit the stereotype of the "Ghetto, nappy-headed hoe" or the "Thug". Many of us are educated, some more than they portray themselves to be, and have the know how to do things just as well as the next person. It proves that we can come together for a cause. The last time that this was seen was during the Civil Rights Movement. Then, we fought for equal rights, now that we have them, we are fighting to prove that we are equals.

And, although this may seem cliche', I really think that this will be good for the Caucasian community also. Now, I'm not saying that every Caucasian believes in White Supremacy, but I do believe that this will be a wake up call for those who do. It will prove that a Black man can be just as influential and serve just as well as the president's that we've had before. All he needs is the chance to prove that he is capable.

I have realized that this is more than just another election. It's history in the making and it feels great to be apart of history.

Questions WE are afraid to ask

First off I would like to apologize for my hiatus. I just lost the most important man in my life and I'm trying to get back into the hang of things (please keep me and my family in your prayers).

Well since I've gotten back to Winthrop there have been a few issues that I have been wondering about but wasn't exactly how to approach and that's exactly how I came up with today's topic.

During today's Social Work 200 class we discussed sexuality and social acceptance. I realize, now, that this subject is just as touchy as racism here in the south. As I sat in the classroom and listened to the direction of the conversation I realize that people seem to be more afraid to ask than they are to learn. That poses a HUGE problem in my opinion. In order to learn one must, first, accept the fact that they don't know everything and then secondly ASK QUESTIONS. Well, I can honestly say that I sat there and watched people (who were actually paying attention at the time) squirm in their seat when people spoke of the LGBT community.

You would think that Winthrop, being as diverse as it is, would have no problem educating its students on accepting cultural/social differences. I guess I was wrong. I come from a family where being heterosexual is the unwritten rule, yet I still know and accept the fact that not everyone is going to feel the same way about men as i do, and I have no problem asking questions if there is something i want to know, today though, it took someone in the class saying "feel free to ask me what you want to know" in order to get the discussion moving at a steady pace.

Don't get me wrong, I know that you first have to feel comfortable with a person, in most cases, to ask them personal questions, but why is it that even when we get to that point we still don't want to ask the things we really want the answers to?

I just don't get it... I guess that the point I'm trying to make with this one is that the only way to learn is to question. No question is a stupid question and although they say that "ignorance is bliss" you can't grow if you are stagnant in your thoughts. Open up to new things, accept what you can't change. Gain knowledge. Ask!

My First Blog

Hello everyone!!

As one could obviously see from the title of this entry, this is my first blog on this site. I decided to title this "complete series" in such a way that it would be easy to see the focus of my blogs for at least the next ten weeks. I've heard that the only time that you won't learn is when you aren't breathing. I know it's kind of harsh, but I'm beginning to see that it is very true. So My blog will cover things that I learn (in relation to my major of course). Well since the introduction is out of the way, I believe now will be the perfect time to let this knowledge leak from my brain to your computer screen. Here goes...



On the first day of lecture in my SCWK 200 class, I began to wonder what I had gotten myself into. The semester began with a QPR, which is a suicide prevention presentation. We were given a handout and information on how to see the signs of possible suicidal thoughts. Now, I just turned 20 and I come from a small town. If I can remember correctly I've only had to deal with suicide once. I never really knew how to tell if a person was almost at the "point of NO return" so, this was all new to me. Well, the major point that stuck out the most to me was that most people who have had thoughts of suicide will reconsider if someone is willing to talk with them.... or simply JUST LISTEN. Just watching the presentation proved to be a very emotional experience for me because I began to worry about some very important people in my life...

Well to get back to the point, I would like to share the knowledge that I gained from that experience.

1. Please, please take the time to listen when someone says that they want to talk. Don't just compare everything that they are talking about to a situation in your life, because that could possibly make them feel worse. QUESTION them about suicide if necessary.
   
2. If someone tells you that they've had suicidal thoughts, do better than your best to PERSUADE them to receive the help that they need.
3. If you aren't sure how to approach certain situations, make sure that you REFER that person to someone who can.
4. (This one is something that I feel will also help in the situation) Prove to that person that you actually do care about them and their well being. Don't just be a part time friend. Be trustworthy, loving, and caring at all times because you never know... the smallest display of affection could be what they needed to bring them back from the tipping point.

Well, now that I've shared my knowledge I hope that you will do the same. Please pass this on. Not many people know how well these points work or how to handle suicide. Knowledge is Power, people! Become Powerful!!!!

Love, & Happiness to all.