Losing Yourself to yourself...

I’m sure that at some time in everyone’s life they have been extremely sad, angry, or just plain upset at some point in their life. But sometimes it can be very overwhelming. Everything that you do in life brings along some type of emotion. When that emotion is depression then something needs to be done about it.

I’ve always believed that the holiday season should bring happiness and joy, but this year that just doesn’t seem to be the case. When I went home for Thanksgiving, things just weren’t the same… the things that should have brought happiness brought tears, the new memories that are usually happy were sad, and, to top it all off, the thought of going on another day just seemed down right painful, literally. Depression can and does affect every aspect of your life. When you suffer from this emotional disability it also takes its toll on everyone around you. This semester has been an emotional struggle for me, ranging from separation anxiety to losing the most important man in my life (my grandfather) I have felt as though it was important for me to put up a façade and pretend as though all was well when it really wasn’t. I made it seem as though I was mentally capable of taking care of others when I couldn’t even handle my own. I needed help and didn’t realize it. That is, until my best friend told me that he noticed a change that no one else had noticed… I had lost my drive… I didn’t care about school, family, finances, anything. I barely even cared about life. He told me that I had lost my glow, my “crazy” antics, my smile was fading, and I didn’t express myself anymore. He said “you just aren’t yourself anymore and I miss you” From that point on I knew that I needed help. Depression can cause a lot of problems, but once you realize it is a problem, it’s up to you to get the help you need. Just realize that you can’t do it alone. And in the words of one of my very wise friends, “As long as you have at least one person who loves you and/or adores you more than you can possibly imagine, you are not alone.” It took a while for me to see it but now that I do I now feel like I have a reason to go on. I love you guys and I promise that as long as I have you behind me I won’t give up. Just stay by my side, because I don’t want to slip away again.

“It’s better to have one good friend, than many “friends” who could care less. Look for quality baby… “~ GG Bessant (RIP)